It was about four years ago that I found out I was pregnant with George. Four years! Many people say that time passes quickly when you have children, but I think the opposite is true. It’s not that it’s lingering, but it feels like a different lifetime from when I took the pregnancy test four years ago. I can’t even imagine my life without George and Joseph. It feels like 10 years ago instead of 4 years ago!
Within days of finding out I was pregnant, I started making plans to become a mommy blogger. That’s natural, right? I’m a blogger and about to become a mother. Of course I would be a mommy blogger. I bought a domain name and a new site theme, and began busy typing away at my keyboard drafting new blog posts.
So why didn’t I publish them?
And why did the whole mommy blog idea completely lose momentum as I entered my 10th week of pregnancy?
Why didn’t I share the details of motherhood online like I did when I traveled?
Here’s why I decided I didn’t want to be a mom blogger…
I was scared of negative comments
This feels like a taboo thing because mothers don’t say things like this, but I think I’m a really good mother. I’m not perfect, but I’m trying my best, and my best is pretty good. But until my sons turn 50, happy, healthy, balanced adults, and say to me, “Thank you, Mom, you did a great job!” I don’t know if I’ll ever feel truly successful. And until that day, if anyone questions my ability as a mother, I will definitely be devastated.
As you’ve probably noticed, when I blog about my travels, I end up looking back on them. That would be something I did weeks or even months ago. This is a trip that has passed, but I can confidently tell you what was good, what was bad, what I enjoyed, and what I would recommend. If someone disagrees with me, that’s fine, I’m fine with that. I’m confident that I’m doing the right thing when I’m traveling, but when I’m not, I’m happy to throw my hands up and say, ‘That wasn’t a good idea, don’t do it’.
But motherhood is not that simple.
I don’t really know how my daily decisions affect my children. There is no clear advice. You can’t say, “This way we’ll have a good time and everyone will be happy.” I’m always worried about whether I’m doing the right thing and I’m never 100% sure that every decision I make is for the best.
So if I do something and someone says, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I freak out. That leaves you questioning everything and second-guessing every decision.
When it comes to raising children, people, especially those who can hide behind an internet screen, are very opinionated. And, oddly enough, people who don’t have children, or who had children 45 billion years before her, often want to tell you what they think because they have the most opinions. But I’m not ready for that.
It was boring
Looking back on my pregnancy and early motherhood, there were so many epic and momentous moments. There was a lot to think about, plan for, worry about, and get excited about. But on a day-to-day level, not much happens.
I’m not saying being a mother is boring. It’s nothing but boring. But if I told you about my daily life as a mother, you would be bored to tears. Mainly very slow walks (very slow walks), trips to the park, indoor play areas, chats with moms, coffee dates, and “Who can eat the most vegetables in one minute?” Includes games. Spoiler alert: Mom always wins that game, so I think the kids are starting to realize that this is not a fun game at all.
A mom’s life is very routine.
I also didn’t have much to say about my pregnancy as I was very lucky and had it pretty easily and easily.
You know how people say kids are a handful? They mean it literally. When I go out with George and Joseph, I carry Joseph in his arm, George in my hand, and my dog Louis on a leash in the crook of his elbow. I carry a backpack, usually a coat for him, one or two for him, a jumper, hat and gloves. Because, apparently, children do not feel cold and take off their clothes the moment they leave the house. I’m always on the lookout for danger and keep a close eye on Joseph, who has a tendency to run off into places he shouldn’t, such as roads, bikes, and streams.
You don’t have time to stop and think about what a wonderful moment this is, or carefully form the words in your mind for a blog post later. And you definitely won’t have time to take your camera out of your overstuffed backpack and take photos!
You look at bloggers like Tiger Lily Quinn and see her gorgeous family photos and think, “How?” How on earth did they take that photo? Why does everyone look so calm and relaxed!?’
^ He looks like he’s having fun, but he’s actually panicking and thinking, “This kid is dangerous.” He is fearless and will throw himself into any pool whether there is someone to catch him or not. I can’t take my eyes off him even for a second!’
I don’t feel like being a mother defines who I am
The third and final reason I don’t blog much about motherhood is that while being a mother is the most important thing in my life, I don’t think it defines me. Because there isn’t.
When people ask me what I do, I always say I’m a blogger. But realistically, I only spend a few hours a week blogging (excluding the weeks I go on press trips). Being a blogger isn’t even a part-time job.
Most people would say they’re a stay-at-home mom with a side job or side hustle, but I don’t think so.
I’m a traveler, adventurer, and writer with children.
I’m not a mom who likes to travel.
People are dicks
And finally, it’s very easy. People on the internet can be idiots. People say mean things. I don’t want people to say bad things about my children. (When I re-read it, I had to cut out the last paragraph because it sounded like a dangerous psychopath!)